This is part of a series of four blogs in which we explore tension-reaction behavior and the predictable ways each Behavior Style tends to react under stress and tension.
Persuaders in Tension-Reaction Behavior
Verbal Attack
We respond to stress in different ways depending on various factors. However, there are tendencies related to Behavior Styles, and for those with a Persuader preference the gut-level, initial response is to lash out or verbally attack.
For anyone, being on the receiving end of such verbal outbursts can feel very personal. But it’s crucial to remember that a Persuader’s harsh words aren’t actually about you. * Stress causes Persuaders to amplify their natural talent for communication into something more aggressive or animated. They might resort to sharp, sarcastic remarks if they can’t use more words.
Persuaders have a particular way of dealing with stress. They know that verbally attacking someone is not appropriate, so they will find someone and someplace where they can vent. This might be the next person they interact with, or they might internalize their frustration, leading to self-criticism. This internal critique often surfaces when they’re alone, perhaps during a drive or a walk.
It’s also important to recognize that Persuaders process their thoughts and emotions, whether negative or positive, by talking. Others see this expressiveness as emotionally overreacting, partly because they will talk about everything. Or, as a coping mechanism, they may “dump” it on someone and forget it.
When a Persuader is overwhelmed with anger and they cannot verbally express it, they may cry. Some will mistakenly think the tears are an expression of sadness rather than frustration.
* If a Persuader is deeply triggered or wounded, their verbal attack can be abusive. When an attack reaches this level, it’s completely appropriate for a receiver to express and act on healthy boundaries of protection.
