The Stabilizer
From original Beauty of Styles video by Effectiveness Institute founder, Tom Champoux
Okay, listen to me and listen carefully, I’m starting off with this: You will not find a nicer human being than a Stabilizer. And any team that doesn’t have a Stabilizer is doomed to failure over the long run.
Let me talk about their magic, their beauty. Stabilizers are systems people. Not systems task, but systems people, systems people, systems people. Their primary thrust in life is in fact to develop relationships. They love those propositions….they work within, amongst, between, in front, behind, beside…PEOPLE!!! And, their whole purpose in life is to bring harmony to others. If a Stabilizer is working here and two people are fighting over there, they can’t get any work done. Cmon you guys…. They’re always in the middle of STUFF. Other styles even call them NOSEY. You walk out of the room…where are you going? You get an envelope; what’d you get? That’s how they keep the harmony going. That’s their real strength, they keep the harmony going. How do they do that? Let’s talk about a couple of their strengths.
First strength…they love to NETWORK. Visit, chit chat. It’s a whole series of questions and comments. Boy, that Jan sure talks fast, how’d your profile come out, love your outfit, do you want to go to dinner tonight? boy this is sure fun. Talk talk talk . What do they talk about? Anything, everything and nothing all at the same time. They ask you all those little questions. They figure out the pattern to your answer, they go through the process of bringing you through their filter, they bring you into the inner circle and they absolutely love you to death.
This is the person that you’re two offices away and you’re having a bad day and they call you…Hi, I just thought I’d check in … how’d they know you needed to talk with someone? Oh, I could just tell. Word gets around you’re building a new deck on your house and they just show up on Saturday — just show up. Why? I take care of my friends.
Their single greatest strength…this one’s their magic…never forget this one. You already know their single greatest strength…what is it? You know, you just may not think you know. What is it that Stabilizers avoid at all costs? Conflict. That’s their greatest strength –They AVOID CONFLICT. They’re that harmonizer, that mediator, that person who will go back and forth BETWEEN folks. And they’re going to make sure that we’re all okay as people.
So let’s go back to our example – the Stabilizer’s over here and there’s trouble over there. They go back and forth, trying to help. And then the boss says will you get this work done? And their HAND GOES TO THEIR CHEST, and they give their word, I’ll get it done. My word is my contract. So there’s still trouble and guess what, they give up break, they give up lunch, they stay late to get it done. And then the carpool pulls up. “Just a second, I’ll be right out.”
Stabilizers are the only ones who ride in carpools. Controllers don’t take carpools–”carpools are dumb!” Persuaders don’t take carpools—“no fun unless I can drive!” Analyzers don’t ride in carpools–”I’ve done my research and they’re not as efficient as they say they are.” Stabilizers ride in carpools…why? Because other people want them to. They gather all their stuff together. They have a computer at work and one at home. They get the kids in bed, they give their spouse attention and then they go stake out the computer and get to work. After about 15 minutes, the controller spouse comes in. Are you getting paid extra for this? What does every Stabilizer in the world say? Never you mind. I gave my Word. Now they hate conflict, but if you ask them to violate their word, they’re worse than pit bulls. Even Controllers will back down. Okay okay, I was just asking.
But here’s the part I love. They get it done. They do spellcheck and they line up the margins. They print off the first page to check it out. They’ve got 43 more pages to print off. Then they get up early and get into the office before the boss and put the finished product on the desk. Stabilizers only want one thing in return for all that extra effort. What is that they want? Not praise. That’s too strong. Persuaders are the ones who want praise. Stabilizers want something else. What do they want? Appreciation. They want you to acknowledge that they honored their word.
And we have the audacity to bad-mouth them because they don’t like conflict. Isn’t that crazy? Hear me carefully. Stabilizers will run through the teeth of battle to honor their word. Because the relationship is worth more than anything else.
Those of you who wear the Stabilizer hat, did I say anything about you that wasn’t true? They wouldn’t say so even if I did. They’re way too nice. Stabilizers ask questions, but guess when they ask questions? At the end. They’re so nice, they even ask permission…do you mind if I ask you a question? They always give you a way out with dignity. I must have misunderstood you. They didn’t misunderstand anything.
You will not find a nicer human being than a Stabilizer. And any team that doesn’t have a Stabilizer is doomed to failure over the long run. You gotta have some.
IDEA GENERATOR… IDEA PROMOTER…now you see why I call the stabilizer the IDEA FULFILLER? One more to go. Next week, we’ll talk about Analyzers.