STABILIZER
Stabilizer to Controller
From a Behavior Style perspective, Stabilizer and Controllers are opposites. Controllers tend to take action quickly, are comfortable with conflict, and do not typically express their emotions. These three things can all be confusing and frustrating for Stabilizers. To reduce the frustration, minimize your expression of feelings. Instead, keep conversations focused on the task at hand and what you need to accomplish it, but be careful not to go into too much detail. Controllers do not need you to ask them questions. They tend to make statements about tasks and would prefer you do the same…and be brief about it. Doing this will increase the level of respect they have for you. Since Stabilizers can have their feelings hurt quite easily by the behavior of a Controller, it’s helpful to de-personalize by remembering they separate facts from feelings and make decisions based on facts…it’s not personal.
Stabilizer to Persuader
Stabilizers tend to enjoy the personable, friendly nature of a Persuader and often connect around relational topics. Since Persuaders tend to talk and make decision quickly, it’s helpful to give them time to express their thoughts and feelings and not slow them down with many questions about details or the process. They want to be liked so they will want to provide you with what you need…as long as you tell them what that is. While you might prefer that they ask you questions it’s helpful to recognize they will simply expect you to let them know if you have a concern or need. They tend to enjoy approval and praise, which makes most Stabilizers uncomfortable, so feel free to let your relational warmth shine their way.
Stabilizer to Stabilizer
Stabilizers are very team focused and prefer to be relational, so it is important to briefly connect and not go straight to task. They focus on the process of doing things for others, so conversations are often filled with cooperation, questions, and a spirit of friendliness. Since you both have a need for security, when conflicts surface there is a tendency to be quiet or just agree. If that happens, ask a question. It’s helpful to defer some of your desire to be helpful and let them do something for you. Affirm and let them know that you appreciate them for sharing their thoughts and feelings with you, especially when there is potential for disagreement.
Stabilizer to Analyzer
The common ground between Stabilizers and Analyzers is they both want to take the time to make sure things are done correctly and have a mutual sense of importance for providing context. Their primary difference is the more relational focus of a Stabilizer versus the task focus of an Analyzer. Analyzers tend to prefer conversations that are focused on what needs to be or is being done with little to no personal inquiry or socializing conversation. It’s helpful to tone down your expressive tendencies (feelings) and to ask for their thoughts. Appreciation of the quality of their work is more highly valued than a personal affirmation.
