Reducing Tension-Reaction – Persuaders

We’ve talked about how folks who lean towards the Persuader behavior style tend to get super chatty when the heat is on. Sometimes, it feels like they’re coming at you full throttle. So, what’s the game plan when your coworker, boss, or teammate is verbally going off?

Step one: Listen up. Dive into what they’re saying and really try to get where they’re coming from. But don’t make it seem like you’re picking their argument apart. Show them you’re genuinely interested in understanding their perspective. That alone can dial down the tension.

Once you’ve got a handle on what’s got them riled up (and it’s cool if you need a couple of tries to get it right because the effort alone is a game changer for them), echo it back in your own words. It shows you get it, even if you’re not totally sold on their point of view. That’s okay. Just knowing they’re being heard can work wonders.

Here’s the kicker: Most Persuaders are totally aware that they’re going into overdrive. But in the heat of the moment, they’re not really thinking about how it’s landing on you. Pointing out their emotional expressiveness won’t help. It’s like tossing gasoline on a bonfire.

Lastly, don’t hit the pause button and suggest revisiting the chat when they’ve cooled down. Persuaders want to feel heard right then and there, not put off for later. So, stick around, let them know you truly want to understand, and don’t expect them to suddenly chill out or want to postpone the conversation. That’s the ticket to helping them gracefully ease out of their tension-fueled behavior.

Navigating through situations where it feels like someone is verbally attacking you isn’t easy.  But it can help to recognize they just need to express themselves and have their viewpoint acknowledged and respected.