Reducing Tension-Reaction in Controllers
We recently talked about how folks with a Controller behavior style tend to lean towards taking control when they are under pressure rather than just being in control. So, what can you do when your colleague, boss, or teammate is in full-on Controller mode?
First off, keep your conversations strictly about the task or the issue at hand. Don’t ask them if they’re okay or suggest postponing the chat. And whatever you do, don’t get all emotional or start wearing your heart on your sleeve – that’s just gonna crank up the tension.
Using humor might reduce tension in some cases, but with Controllers, it will backfire. They’re not in the mood for laughs. Some people also tend to want to affirm the person or the relationship when they sense there is tension. This is a mistake for the Controller Style. In tension behavior, they might even deny there is anything to affirm.
The key move here? Listen up, let them talk without butting in, and keep your responses focused on getting stuff done quickly. If you’ve got a point to make, keep it short, sweet, and all about the task – don’t turn it into a showdown. If Controllers sense you’re trying to outdo them, they’ll just dial up the control.
In a nutshell, stay laser-focused on the task, keep your cool, and aim for quick action – that’s how you help a Controller get out of their tension-fueled behavior.
