In This Issue:
What’s New: Behavior Style Profiles On-line!
Upcoming Webinars and Workshops
Effective Tips: The Slippery Slope
Ask Tom: Key Learnings from 27 Years Teaching Behavior Styles
Feedback
What’s New
As I See Myself and As Others See Me Behavior Style Profiles Go On-line
We are excited to announce that Behavior Style 360, a combination of the As I See Myself profile and ten As Others See Me profiles, is now available on-line.
For a limited time Behavior Style 360 is available for $39, an introductory 20% discount for our favorite customers – you! In this on-line 360, you receive the As I See Myself self-assessment, and (10)ten As Others See Me profiles that you can distribute to your colleagues, managers, direct reports, friends and family members. You’ll receive an instant report on yourself that illustrates the contrasts between how you come across to others, and how you see your own behavior. A guide for interpreting the results and suggestions on what to do with the information is included.
If you want to
• become a better leader
• build positive influence
• develop a stronger team
• improve your communication, and
• decrease your frustration with others,
then Behavior Style 360 is the perfect tool for you.
If you’d just like to know how you assess your own behavior style, then check out the As I See Myself On-line , also currently at 20% off, for $19.00.
Upcoming Webinars
August 11 – Know Your Customer: Selling to Style
September 4 – How to Become the Boss Everyone Wants to Work For
September 22 – The Art and Science of Creating a Mentoring Program
September 29 – Making Difficult Conversations Easy
The above webinars are one hour and are $35. In addition, we are offering the following free webinar:
People: Difficult or Different? This entertaining one-hour webinar is an introduction to Behavior Styles and will be offered on August 14 and September 3.
All webinars begin at 1:00 pm Pacific Time. To register, contact info@effectivenessinstitute.com or register on our website: www.effectivenessinstitute.com
Upcoming Workshops
August 12 – People Skills (One-Day)
August 19-20 – The Leadership Challenge
August 28-29 – Managing for Performance
September 9-10 – People Skills
September 12 – Common Threads in Leadership
September 23 – Integrating Conflict
October 7-8 – People Skills
October 9–10 – People Skills Train the Trainer
October 21 – Coaching for High Performance
All workshops are held at the Effectiveness Institute Conference Center, 2249 152nd Ave NE, Redmond, Washington, unless otherwise specified.
Effective Tips
By Tom Champoux, Co-Founder and President, Effectiveness Institute
THE SLIPPERY SLOPE
Reflection and experience both tell me the same thing: we make better decisions when we are focused, have a good energy level and feel in balance. The opposite is also true: the more we are scattered, have low energy and are out of balance, the more clear thinking eludes us. This is fertile ground for a reactive decision based on a short-term solution where consequences are costly or painful. The question becomes, how do we attain the former and avoid the latter?
I am sure there are a lot of variables but the one that most intrigues me – and the one I spend the most time helping clients understand – is confusing “who I am” with “what I do.”
If my self-worth gets wrapped into what I am doing, the ability to see what others see is greatly diminished. Defensiveness, rationalization and justification filter the truth. Armed with my own “truth,” I will be vulnerable to “creating” data to support what I want to believe is true - objectivity is lost.
Even if my intent is sincere and I am searching for the truth, I am not likely to find it. Why? Because I am not after the truth. I am after being right because if I am right, then I am okay. That is the slippery slope that leads to the breakdown of trust and respect, which in turn makes healthy personal or professional relationships very difficult.
Let’s examine the dynamics of the slippery slope. If my self-worth gets linked to what I do and another individual does not like what I do, it inevitably is interpreted as he/she “doesn’t like me.” He/she “doesn’t like me” moves quickly to “I am not okay.” How strongly will people resist feeling “not okay?” Very strongly…I will defend and justify what I am doing with my interpretation of the “truth” so I can be okay. I want to look in the mirror and be happy with the person I see there. I will blame others and accuse them of the very thing I am guilty of – not being objective. Once on the slippery slope, I sincerely doubt you can get off by yourself. How do you find the truth when you already know the “truth?”
So, how does one avoid the slippery slope? By exercising constant vigilance in separating “who I am” from “what I do.” If I can keep these two things separate, I can maintain balance, sustain clear thinking and stay away from the “I am not okay” feelings. Even if you don’t like what I am doing, I am still okay as a human being…you just don’t like what I am doing. I can hear information that is uncomfortable and adjust because the goal is not protecting myself but accomplishing the goal. I can stay off the slippery slope of “I’m right.”
3 helpful hints to avoid the slope:
1. When you feel yourself getting defensive; immediately pause, take a deep breath, then ask a question.
2. Purposefully form a relationship with a truth-teller – someone who will tell you what you need to hear in a way that you can hear it…then invite them to tell you the truth.
3. When you sense resistance rising in yourself, quickly ask yourself “What if this is true?”
These 3 hints will get you the data and information you need to stay focused, make good decisions and not waste energy on proving you are right. “I need some time to think about this” or “I want to sleep on it” will get you the space to let emotions dissipate and let the pathway to the truth emerge…and you will avoid the slippery slope and enjoy healthy relationships personally and professionally.
Ask Tom
I know that you have been working with Behavior Style information for over 25 years. What are some of your biggest learnings or insights from your work?
There have actually been several big insights along the way. The more I work with this body of knowledge, the deeper the insights get for me personally…and sharing those learnings is what keeps me excited about the work we do here at the Institute.
Here are a handful of my insights from the 27 year journey with Behavior Styles:
1. Discovering for the first time that even though I am primarily one of the Styles, I am also the other 3 Styles AT ALL TIMES. This led to the belief in the importance of Choice.
2. Discovering that what the ancient Greeks said about being born with basic temperaments is absolutely modified by learning to survive in a given environment. This led to the belief that each of us struggles every minute, every day to be “in control.” There is a reason why we each do what we do.
3. Discovering how important it is to delineate between Behavior and Personality. Behavior is impacted by choice so I can change my behavior with choice. Personality is not changed through simple choice. This led to using the iceberg as a model to demonstrate how we can be all the Styles while showing only one that is hopefully appropriate in a given environment.
4. Learning that Behavior Style information is really about how we use energy - to initiate, to implement, to do tasks or to be with others. The Controller likes to initiate tasks, while the Stabilizer prefers to implement and work with others to get the task done. The Persuader likes to initiate others and get them excited while the Analyzer enjoys working alone to get the task done right. This helps break down labeling. Behavior Style information is about how we use our energy to interact with the world.
5. Learning that as I age (gracefully I hope), my preference for a given Style changes as well. I look for the best way to expend the least amount of energy to get done what I want to get done. I think this leads to a deeper level of empathy and greater appropriateness in a given environment. That is still a choice I want to make so that I can be in control…and when I stop doing that, I hope somebody is willing to take me out to the woodshed :)
Feedback
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Do you have any suggestions for us regarding workshops or other offerings? Please send any suggestions, questions, comments, or questions for Tom, to sally@effectivenessinstitute.com.
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Issue 6, 8/01/08
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