In This Issue:
What’s New: Webinars
Upcoming Webinars
Upcoming Workshops
Effective Tips: The Range Called Normal
Ask Tom: Tips on How to Stop Behavior Style Labeling
Feedback
What’s New
Incorporate an Hour of Learning into Your Day
In an effort to bring nuggets of practical knowledge to you in chunks that are easy to incorporate into your busy days, we are introducing a series of webinars. Each webinar will either feature some vital pieces of information that augment our current instructor-led workshops, or, as in the case of The Art and Science of Mentoring, are unique and stand-alone mini-seminars.
These webinars will provide practical tips and ideas for you to integrate immediately. And if you’ve already taken the full workshop, they are great refreshers that will introduce you to additional topical information. Our intent is to make it easy for you to incorporate the skills and knowledge needed to become influential communicators, skillful managers and visionary leaders. And as always, our ultimate emphasis – as Tom eloquently expounds on in his article below – is to do so by giving you actionable ways to increase trust, respect and dignity.
We realize everyone is crunched for time and most of you are not locals and can’t drop by our Conference Center to participate in our one- and two-day workshops without considerable readjustment to your lives. So check out our list of webinars. We hope to hear you on one soon!
Upcoming Webinars
May 22 – How to Become the Boss Everyone Wants to Work For
May 27 – Making Difficult Conversations Easy
June 6 – Know Your Customer: Selling to Style
June 11 – The Art and Science of Mentoring
June 16 – Building Leadership and Influence
June 17 – The Leadership Challenge
All webinars are one hour and cost $35 per person. To register, contact info@effectivenessinstitute.com
Upcoming Workshops
May 13-14 – People Skills
May 15-16 – People Skills Train the Trainer
June 10-11 – People Skills
June 13 – Integrating Conflict
July 15 – Coaching for High Performance
July 22-23 – People Skills
July 24-25 – People Skills Train the Trainer
All workshops are held at the Effectiveness Institute Conference Center, 2249 152nd Ave NE, Redmond, Washington, unless otherwise specified. To register, contact info@effectivenessinstitute.com
Effective Tips
The Range Called Normal
By Tom Champoux, Co-Founder and President, Effectiveness Institute
If you pause to consider the range called normal, we really are a lot alike. I think we just never take the time to realize it. As the result of my forty years as a teacher, trainer and consultant, I have come to believe that there are five things that are common motivators to us all. They are simple and basic, but there is no question they are integral to making a difference in your organization or community.
I believe these five motivators build upon one another and yet, I want to share them out of order because it makes the most sense. Motivators #1 and #5 are the bookends so we will talk about them first. Here they are:
Motivator # 1 - “I want to do good.” (Efficacy)
Every morning we wake up with a series of choices to make. The goal is to choose actions that add to - not take away - from our purpose. The key to this is staying in balance. The more we are in balance with our life purpose, the more this motivator actually influences everything we do. When we lose sight of our purpose, we may step off the track of “doing good” and give up the high road.
Motivator # 5 - “I want it to be better because I was here.” (Generativity)
This motivator links directly to the highest level of Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs – generativity. It is about realizing meaning and purpose, about giving back, about being fully present, about making a difference. At the end of the day, we all want to be able to look back and say our presence made a difference.
Efficacy and Generativity – these are the bookends. On the first day we meet, each of us would like good to happen. The last day of our relationship, we want to be able to look back and say this was a good thing, it is better because we were together.
If these book ends are true for each of us, then why don’t relationships – work or personal - always work out? Pretty simple. We forget about, and do not continually work on, motivators #2, #3 and #4. They are the meat and potatoes, the bread and butter of any relationship that works. They are easy to name, but not easy to cause without persistent and purposeful effort.
Motivator #2 - “I want to be trusted.”
This is the most basic building block of all. Trust allows us to be vulnerable, to explore, to risk, and to be accepted as worthwhile. Without trust, we experience a loss of safety and a decrease in our willingness to be vulnerable, a holding back in the sharing of our gifts and talents.
Motivator #3 - “I want to be respected.”
Each of us wants cause/effect to be part of our lives. We work hard, we share our talents - and we want someone to simply acknowledge or appreciate the “gift” of ourselves that we have shared. When we are respected, we are held in regard, we are validated and empowered. Because of this we are willing to give more, risk more, do more as we live our life purpose.
Motivator #4 - “I want to experience personal dignity.”
Every moment, each of has a choice in how we respond to the people in our lives. If we give others our full attention without evaluation, without judgment, without comparison to our “story” - just accept who they are - then personal dignity is experienced. This experience of dignity creates strength to risk, to be vulnerable, to share talents and skills that accelerate the development of trust and respect.
Now, let’s look at the motivators in their natural order.
1. I show up and I want to do good.
2. I am trusted.
3. I am respected.
4. I experience personal dignity every single day.
5. And, when I leave on the last day, it was better because I was here.
These common motivators are basic to everything we do. If we can stay in balance and work toward a purpose that is larger than just “me” – that is the range I call normal – we can focus outward and our ability to make a difference in the accomplishment of task AND genuineness in relationships simply magnifies. Simple, yes. Easy to do, no…but therein lies our daily challenge. Learn the skills to impact trust, respect and dignity in all our relationships – and you will know the joy of being a Difference Maker.
Ask Tom
Do you have any tips on how to keep people from labeling others with their Behavior Styles?
This is a bit of a challenge and yet it is very do-able.
First, why do people label others and the behavior that they observe? I believe it is because they are trying to encapsulate what they see so that the information is useful. That is a good thing…and yet it can be destructive.
When an individual learns new information, there has to be some “vehicle” to capture that knowledge so it can be internalized – that is the label we use to describe a behavior we observe. Unfortunately, a single label can limit human capability and easily distort our perception. The label becomes a parameter, a boundary, instead of a descriptor. The key is finding words that act as descriptors instead of boundaries.
Things I do to combat this:
- I convert a Style to energy when I talk about it: “He is using his Controller energy” instead of “He is a Controller”. Another option I use is to describe the energy I require: “I need your initiating task energy” or simply “I need you to initiate quickly, we are pressed for time...” instead of “I need you to be a Controller”.
- I talk about “hats” that one wears: “She has her Controller hat on.” By using a descriptor that is a visual and is known to have a situational use, it fights the labeling issue. You can also play with this one…some teenagers always wear the same hat (some people always use the same style) and some people wear a different hat for every situation (some people shift their style continually to be appropriate to the situation).
- Role model the correct use of “labels”. Remember that labels are being used to help internalize the information. Provide immediate, firm corrective coaching when used inappropriately and positive reinforcement when used correctly. It takes repetition, and then more repetition to get it right. The master musician practices continually…it is why they are a master.
Role model the correct use of “labels”. Remember that labels are being used to help internalize the information. Provide immediate, firm corrective coaching when used inappropriately and positive reinforcement when used correctly. It takes repetition, and then more repetition to get it right. The master musician practices continually…it is why they are a master.
Feedback
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Issue 5, 5/01/08
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